Wow, I see I have not blogged in a very long time. Summer can be like that I think. This summer in particular was time of fairly heavy internal change. It was a good thing. I find myself rather different. The need to explain myself to others, my inner workings, appears to have subsided for the most part. The desire to be understood and heard, well it just isn't that strong anymore. I think I have come to a place in my own self confidence I don't need it anymore, well not as much anyway.
So really I haven't had a lot to write about. It has been more a time of being and doing rather than thinking about it.
This autumn feels different. It is a time to explore relationships, spirituality, well-being, many things actually and to think about them. It is time to dig new directions and let them mentally compost so to speak. I think I would like to share this journey here.
Ultimately, I strive to live in balance. The truth is, that rarely happens and I don't think that is a bad thing. If you were able to maintain balance and sameness, stagnation would quickly occur and there would not be growth. Growth is extremely important. Not so much how fast or how much just that it continues.I am growing in a multitude of ways.
I am an avid health nut. Working out, eating healthy, living well, all of these things are truly important to me. Right now I am training for my first marathon. Talk about an intense experience. Wow, I am pretty sure nothing will challenge my determination and mental toughness as much as this well. But this training is coinciding with the realization I have been putting too much time and energy into this whole thing. It has been robbing other parts of my life very much deserving my time and attention. Don't get me wrong, I am still eating really healthy but instead of constantly trying to find amazing new ways to create dinner I am satisfied with a simple veggie stir fry. Simplicity. I have also cut back on working out. I do love to over-train if given half a chance.
The benefits to backing off have been immediate. I feel better and have less stress. Therefore, my family and friends get more of me and more quality time with me. It has been a great change.
I have incredibly bright children. They are amazing. The things they pick up and the imaginary worlds they create leave me speechless. I almost fell into the trap many parents with smarty pants kids fall into to without thinking: Pushing them academically rather than to trust the organic process of learning. Which is rather silly because it is that very process that has produced these results. So I backed off quickly. Our focus is to play and do that outside as much as possible. We read. We play puzzles. We pull out the workbooks when THEY ask. Otherwise, I leave them to the very serious business of playing. I thank one of John Holt's books for reminding me of this way of learning and living.
So there we are. Our journey continues. We make mistakes, corrections are made, beauty is created, and most importantly, live is lived. .