Monday, October 1, 2012
False Humility: Be Gone!!
False humility and self deprecating behavior has been on my mind lately. I am really taken aback at all the women I find who practice these behaviors on a daily basis. I have no idea why running yourself down and not owning up to the hard work you have done is somehow equated with “lady-like” behavior. It absolutely boggles my mind and deeply saddens me. I have heard beautiful, educated, amazing women run themselves down better than a steam roller could have. If I didn't know them better and only relied on what they said about themselves I would think they were stupid, lazy, incompetent, not very bright, oh and of course, fat. This seriously just breaks my heart.
Okay, okay now I think a lot of this might come from the fear, yes the fear, of appearing prideful or arrogant. Did you catch that? Appearing. Not really being but appearing. I have a wonderful fix for that. Let people know the real, wonderful you and then they will know you are not a prideful jerk. Live your life openly, honestly, and with true authenticity, and there won’t be a question. Oh yes, and above all else, Please stop caring what everybody else thinks!! It really doesn't matter at all in the grand scheme of things. Live a life of integrity and exhibit true love, grace, and compassion and let the rest fall where it may.
I wonder, however, if it isn’t from a deeper place for many women. I wonder if there isn't a different fear. A fear of rejection, a fear of ridicule, a fear that someone else is going to say something nasty about us or to us so let’s just say something nasty about ourselves first. Not the best logic, perhaps, but I think this is a highly probable explanation. I think there is a multitude of women who really think they are worthless, deep down inside.
I promise you my sweet, beautiful friend, you are not worthless. You are priceless. You are more amazing than you give yourself credit. You do not need to run yourself down and if anyone runs you down, kick their critical butts to the curb..
There is another factor. If we claim we have done the work or we are ready, then oh my goodness what if we fail?? What will be say?? (Hint, stop caring!!) Okay, so I am training for a marathon. I am putting in my runs and doing all the work I am supposed to do. I spend many hours running like a bored little gerbil on a dreadmill and many more hours running the same 5 mile loop. I lift. I work out my core. I eat right. In short (I know, too late!) I am doing everything I can do to prep for this marathon. So when the time comes and someone asks me if I am ready, I am going to say yes I am. Because I will be. I did the work.
Uh oh, but what if I fail???? What if I don’t finish or get hurt or implode in a cloud of sparkles??? Again, who cares??? It doesn't matter. I did the work. I was ready but there is still an element of chaos within those parameters. And if someone wants to run me down and talk about me because I didn't finish what I tried to do. then I have to be honest, that person is pretty much the last person that would matter to me. Seriously, that would earn you a trip right outside the circle of people who I care to listen to today or ever. Buh-bye.
I think it is beyond important that we mirror a true assessment of ourselves, both our strengths and weaknesses. I think this is true, this is honest. To be blunt, anything else is actually a lie. It is important not only for ourselves but for our children. Our children think we are the most amazing things in the world. When they are young, we are their world. If they hear us constantly talking about ourselves like we are worthless refuse, then how do you think they are going to feel about themselves?
In the end, it all comes down to fear. Well I say face your fear and find your courage and be the amazing person you truly are.
Oh, and I WILL be ready for the marathon but if I implode in a cloud of sparkles, it would be pretty darn cool.