"Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." A.A. Milne

Monday, November 19, 2012

Losing The Rigidity in Your Life

I am rather excited to be back blogging again. It is such a cyclical thing for me. I have posts swirling and composting my head that should come out soon. I want to talk about the freedom that comes from purging your stuff and letting go.  I would like to discuss living  life of harmony vs. discord and how letting go of those determined to live in land of self pity, drama, and stagnation will greatly enhance that transformation. So many things I hope to write about. But once has jumped to the forefront of my mind. Letting go of the rigidity in your life and becoming more flexible.

I want to present an authentic representation of my life online. It is easy to just focus on the good or clean up the not so pretty so we can give the world a highlight reel only kind of view. I do not want to do that. I want to be honest when I fail, be open about being exhausted or disappointed. In short, I just want to be real.


The truth is, I really am a happy person seeing joy and beauty of mundane life. I don't get too upset when things don't go my way. I go with the flow of my day and just see where it all takes up. And there is one thing that makes this all possible: Intentionally living in the present moment.

I was not always like this. Oh I had such plans and expectations. I over-thought every decision and scenario. A big holiday planned? I had it all worked out in my head how it should go and was very disappointed and angry when it didn't go according to my imaginary plan. You know it never did. I lived in the future trying to micromanage everything. I thought I would somehow have control over everything including other people and especially my children. Who wants to guess how that worked out???

Like so many things, this particular issue has been refined and smoothed due to having children. I remember sitting and crying because my day did not go how I had planned it. I was angry my children were getting in the way of my to do list!! Catch that, did you? Isn't that the most asinine thing? My babies, my beauties were hindrance to mopping floors and extravagant meal planning. Ridiculous or not, it is how I felt.

I am so grateful I found another way, a better way.

I found that by letting go of the past and releasing to future to work itself out, I lived more centered in peace and calm. When you find peace and calm you can find joy. I promise you it is true. I stopped thinking about how a situation would go or even my day. My to do list became things that would be cool to get done, if it works out. I have plans each day but if they don't happen, so what? I mean seriously, what is the big deal really? It is rarely life threatening. In fact, it is our anger and frustration stealing our joy not the change in plans.

To facilitate flexibility I have learned to say no to many, many things Our schedule is much more open and just has the room to be less rigid. The less hectic schedule allows us all to be more peaceful and less revved up all the time. It is that very go go go pace that leads to rigidity for me. How can you finish the 108 things on your to do list if you are not hyper focused and regimented??? I say ditch the to do list. You will be better for it.

So that is where me and mine are. We really just sort of flow through life. I don't think we miss out on anything. In fact, the slowness has enable us to see things and experience things we would have missed any other way.  Throw out your mental expectations, stop your life in its tracks, and take the time to wonder at the sunrise or moonrise with your children, however it works out for you.

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