Saturday, January 4, 2014
That my friends is my very first mandala. I just love it. I am in the grip of a creativity explosion so this post may very well be disjointed but hey, the ride should be fun.
This picture was done on December 31, 2013. Now I am not all about the New Year. We don't really do anything special. I don't do resolutions. It usually isn't a very big deal but this year has been special. I think it is more by chance than design I have experienced this huge life shift but whatever, I will happily go with it.
This past year I have really found my footing on my path.I have regained my brain after giving birth and dealing with a child sick for almost two years with reflux. (Seriously, you cannot function when you haven't slept more than 4 hours at a time in two YEARS!!). I have learned to let situations and people toxic to my family go without a lot of fretting. I say no to anything I deem detrimental to our harmony. I am now doing daily yoga, eating really well, getting plenty of exercise, and meditating more and more. Seriously folks, I am loving life. Yes, there are still difficulties and hardships. Yes, I still get sad, angry, and ever flirt with depression. But I have learned these things are transient and if I will just ride them out and choose joy wherever I can, they will soon pass away. On the flip side, I know wonderful and beautiful things will also pass way so take time to enjoy and cherish them.
I have also learned, I still have a big ego. I was really enjoying posting pics of my yoga "accomplishments". They were just so pretty and fabulous. Hello, see my big ego begging for approbation? Yep, so I am not really doing that anymore. Silly ego.
I am almost not raising my voice with my kids anymore. We practice gentle, nonviolent, non-shaming, parenting. But I was still finding myself losing my temper and yelling at my kids. Not cool. Um, how can I expect my children to learn self discipline and control themselves when I obviously couldn't??? So I started on a campaign to end it. I used a bracelet. That bracelet reminded me of my commitment to practice self discipline and self control. It has made me more mindful of my triggers. Surprise, surprise, often my triggers were stressers I had brought into the family by means of unrealistic expectations.
This January the 9th I will finish my first 108 Days of Mindfulness. It was amazing. I learned so much. I learned I don't like to mix me with alcohol. Even one drink makes me not mindful and I don't like that. Total personal choice but a choice I think may very well prevail in my life. This time has taught me to simplify even more. Streamline my life to really focus ONLY on those things which truly matter to me. Wow, so much I thought was important just doesn't matter at all to me. Learn something new all the time, huh?
This winter I have truly embraced my desire to be an introvert and hibernate. I still have moments of anxiety caused from SAD but overall it has been terrific. I have nothing scheduled, no work projects, home improvement, nothing but that which brings me joy until spring. I think my spring will explode with amazing projects imbued with refreshed and revitalized energy.
Okay, so all of this sort of brings me to right here, right now. I am having an artistic explosion. I am so interested in doing art, I am distracted in doing almost everything else. I am pretty sure this will settle down but for right now the kids are just doing art with me and my husband seems to be okay coming home to clouds of glitter and forgotten dinner.
You see, I have never "done" art before. How could I??? What if I wasn't instantly and applause worthy amazing at it???? What if it wasn't perfect?? Oh yes, this seems to be the place where my self doubts and self criticism tried to make their last stand. Well my friends, I am in the process of blowing them to smithereens. It is so absolutely mind-blowingly fantastically freeing and beautiful. I love it. I am starting a new art journal where anything goes. There is no right, no shoulds, just creation and it is so freaking amazing it makes my fingers and toes just tingle with the very thought of it.
So this year my sweet delightful friends, I shall do art and within that process I shall find even more of me.
May harmony (and creativity) find you.