"Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." A.A. Milne

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Struggling and Gratitude

Warning, authentic moment ahead. It doesn't portray me in the best light but I think that is the point. We are seriously struggling over here. The kids have been really sick. We have been housebound. John has been super busy at work. We have not had much outside time. I have been fighting off the kids sickness and due to the previous reasons, not working out. Most important, I have not been able to run or do much yoga. This all adds up to some stinky moods and yucky situation. I don't think we all like each other very much right now. But I am determined to focus on gratitude and the bounty of my life. First up, reminders of why I stay home and why I have chose this life.
And this:
Seriously, don't I have the most gorgeous babies??? This week I am sad to say I have lost my temper. I have been irritated to the point of running screaming down the street because of the tired, sick whines of my precious children. In fact, I just had to stop what I was doing because Logan pulled out all the things in the bathroom cabinet and then opened a bunch of band aids. It has not been a parade of my finest moments. But it is life and how it rolls. Bottom line, I am tired, sort of sick myself, and struggling to fall into the shame/ guilt trap of being human rather than a perfect mommy automaton. The best thing I can do is focus on gratitude so here it goes. My Gratitude List for the Moment (by no means complete or in any order) 1.I am grateful I found the mantra, "My child is not giving me a hard time, my child is having a hard time." I have said this often and with increasing vigor. 2. We have good, healthy food in the house to boost our immunity. Let's not get worse. 3. I have the greatest husband evah. He has went above and beyond the call of duty in order to make my life as easy as possible. The man is swamped with trials but has consistently put the needs of me and the children first. So Seriously Overflowing with Abundance 4.Netflix. Hours and hours Caillou, Dora, and Strawberry Shortcake. I may be gibbering after all of it but it has helped the children rest. 5. I am so grateful I have learned the lesson of personal grace, love, and compassion. I am working on giving myself room to make mistakes and see them as learning opportunities rather than chances to beat myself up. 6. I have friends to remind me of the above. 7. The weather is simply gorgeous. We should be able to get outside for a little bit today. The mild weather will be great for fresh air consumption. 8. My homemade yogurt is the bomb. 9. The weekend is almost here and I will get a long break. (Again, best husband evah.) 10.It is almost over and we are still in one piece. In fact, the kids still seem to like me and want to be with me and that is a good thing. Ten seems like a good round number. Oh well, let's throw one more in for good measure. 11. Strangely enough, I am glad I am able to stay at home and deal with all of this. As much as I have wanted to run down the street and hide in a ditch, this is better. That awareness stays firmly implanted in the front of mind. I cannot imagine trying to juggling job responsibilities, coverage, or whatever along with sick kids. All we had to do was stop and stay home. It hasn't been the most fun thing we have ever done but I am still grateful we can did it without any fuss. That is my gratitude list. I am holding on to it and the coming weekend with both hands. I hope they get me through and help me have a better mindset about the whole thing.


  1. Hello Karen,
    I found my way here from your comment at Heather's blog and the lure of Fabulous Homemade Yogurt. If you are ever inspired to share your journey with tweaking it and what you have figured out, I would be appreciative.

    Many years ago I used to make homemade yogurt with our goat's milk, but in very large quantities. We are a small household now, but I love to have good yogurt everyday and am looking for inspiration.

    Wishing you and your family healing and patience and strength. I really honor the authenticity you express on your blog and have enjoyed visiting.


  2. Thank you Lesley! I will be happy to post it as soon as things return to something close to equilibrium. It really is good.