My Life Thus Far....

Doesn't that sound deliciously pretentious? I rather like it. It is somewhat right on point however. Since leaving the world of social media I have felt as if my life has returned. It has been much fun and made me a bit sad I wasted so much of it. But no reason to fret about the past. This is about the present.

Well, first I fell into a bit of a funk. We have been having some rather large life stresses here at the Elvert household. They have resolved themselves rather satisfactorily for the most part but now the anxiety and other negative emotions have sort of crashed down out of their holding pattern. We are systematically digging our way out of that mess and joy is returning in full force.

I am beyond excited because my absolute bestie Jen has become a sahm. This move has resulted in many wonderful changes in her life. She is loving it. But since the world, or at least this blog, revolves around the brightest shining star in the firmament, namely me, the greatest benefit I see is I have been able to spend much more time in her beauteous presence. This is a wondrous and beautiful thing. This woman flat out nurtures and refreshes me. She is the person I never mind how much strength, joy, or positive energy she may need from me because she always returns it tenfold. Glorious I tell you. I am a better person for knowing her. She is the bomb, you know?

Another big thing is I am really into the whole unschooling thing. I LOVE it. I want my children to be life learners. Now whatever objections you may have, I must be honest, I don't really care to hear them. This method works for our family now and we will change direction when it stops working for us. I think that should be the motto for most families, don't you?

One off shoot of this knew found love of an unusual education philosophy is the new proliferation of classic literature in our home. You must understand something, I love classic literature. Shakespeare, Dickens, Milton, Homer, and so many more are old, old friends of mine. But in the years following the birth of my children my brain turned to something more resembling warm mush than a steel trap filled with lightening fast intellect. If you don't know, classics take quite a bit more work than my fave trashy urban fantasy reads.I have to think more. So hard, don't you agree?? But unschooling means I will strive to live out the notion that I will strive to be the person I want my children to become. So be it, enter the challnging literature. I think I am going to learn Italian next year. I will be going the Rosetta Stone path. I have heard good things and there is a dearth of classes in my immediate vicinity. Hopefully in a year my children will occasionally allow me 15 minutes uninterrupted. I doubt it but hope springs eternal.

What else? What else? The weather is amazing for February but I am hungering for the true warmth and earth- scented green of spring. It makes my spirit sing with joy and my soul come alive. I fairly hum with beauty of it and I LOVE it.

Finally, I am very excited because we bought tickets to Quiddam by Cirque du Soleil. I am giddy because they are floor seats. The are stomach turning expensive but we only do this once a year and it is an ultimate pleasure for me and it seems my husband just really likes for me to be happy. I danced for two days after the purchase. Now i just have to wait 4 months (seriously???) for the date to arrive. Patience is good and all, right?

So there you have it. A little rambly, slightly silly, and quite babbly but I guess that describes me right now so it is apt.

Unschooling, Stumbling, and Renewing Confidence

We are homeschooling our children. Since they are 2 and 3, that both means everything and nothing at this point. Everyting because even now that decision is an overarching theme in our lives each day. Nothing because they are so young and because of how we intend to proceed. We believe in a rather unschooling approach until the children are at least 7. We want them to enjoy being a child, get dirty and messy, and discover their own questions about their world. Right now we are just guides, just the people who either answer the questions or help them find the answer when we honestly and unashamedly say, "I don't know. But let's find out together."

It has been going well. We have been blessed with some really amazing children. They are bright, funny, and inquisitive. We are kept very busy each day answering their questions, reading to them, playing games, doing crafts, well wherever the day takes us.

Sadly, I fell victim for the first time to self doubt. First of many, I am very sure. That unwanted thought, that horrible urge attacked me at my heart. You know the one.

I have to do more. What if they fall behind??????

I think it is an ever present joy stealing thought that lurks in the mind of most homeschoolers at one time or another. We doubt ourselves. We truly want the best for our kids. What if endless worksheets and flashcards are what is best? What if we really do need to be stuffing them with incredible amounts of information??? What if I am wrong??? And the big one, what if I fail them????

Heady stuff those thoughts. Thoughts like those have the ability to bring even the most adamantly relaxed homeschooler to their knees and beg for mercy. I think it just goes with the territory.

So for 3 days I began to make plans. I search for preschool objectives and goals. I researched the best and most fun ways to achieve them. I made lists and outlines. I ran myself a bit ragged. Finally when the dust, papers, facts, and questions settled around me I realized something wonderful. My children are already on target with all those goals. They are doing fine. No, they are flourishing and it is beautiful.

So we are back to long days of snuggling and reading. Days filled with Candyland and Chutes and Ladders. Paintings done on paper and each other are common in our home. My littles and I are intrepid adventurers exploring and discovering the world around us. It is perfect. It is also what we intended to do from the beginning. I love having my confidence back. It feels really good.