I had a great run today. Right now I feel satisfied yet mildly fatigued. It is a good feeling. I feel relaxed. Training for this half marathon is hard, physically and mentally. It is making me dig deeper and go further in so many surprising aspects. But that isn't on my mind too much right now. Right now I am dreaming of warm spring days.
I think you can both live in the moment and let yourself dream. I don't think it is oxymoronic at all. Actually, I think it a great way to express a well rounded life. The past and the future are not really seperate from us. We shouldn't live there or obsess but it is a part of us. I love watching pictures of when my sweet babies were newborns. I can see through experienced eyes and appreciate those times all the more. And times like today when I am relaxed and lazing a bit, I dream of the future. Today, I dream of spring.
I really don't like cold weather. Nothing grows outside. It smells cold and forbidding to this earth loving momma. I love the smell of wet earth ready to burst forth with life. I love the smell of the soft,gentle winds that bring warmth and cleansing breath. I even love the smell of spring storms that rise up quickly and violently. They scare me a bit but they also remind me that I am truly alive. The feel of warm sun on my face never fails to delight my heart. Feeling my hair lifted by the breeze that playfully flings it across my face is Joy, Delight, so many good things. This year I am eager to hear the musical laughter of my children as they play on our yet to be bought and installed playscape. I long to hear their calls as we explore nature and go on walks. I am excited to answer Hannah's multitude of questions and the listen to her musings as we plant our first garden together. I dream of feeling the warmth of my husband's chest as I lean against him and we watch our precious babies discover their world. I dream of all of this and more. It is beautiful to me.
To me, life has always felt cyclical. The ebb and flow join together and give you a particular rhythym to live by. After this half marathon, I am devoting the rest of April, May, and June to yoga and hooping. I want to take the time to allow my body to heal from the intense physical exertions and give my mind time to find balance and peace. I am looking forward to the training and the race but I am looking forward to the recovery as well. After that, who knows? I want to do aerial silks and I have an interest in bellydance and learning Bollywood but that furture is vague. I think I will save those dreams for a different day.