No, this is not a blog post on anything technical about yoga asanas, partner yoga (well sort of), or props (again, maybe sort of). What it is, is a post about living my life where I am and starting a daily yoga practice.
I am determined to do yoga daily at home, preferably each morning, regardless of scheduled classes or what have you. I am embracing the idea of no longer expending effort and energy on trying to make life fit whatever mold I feel it should. Instead I choose to meet life each day where we are, intentionally and with an open heart, curious to see what it has in store for me in that moment. I believe this will give a better flow to my life and family.
In celebration of my decision I set up my yoga mat this morning with Logan running around being two. He was not engaged with anything else so you know with what he would soon be fascinated and engaged! It was one of the sweetest yoga practices I have ever had. He quickly joined me. A few times he tried the pose himself but during Downward Facing Dog he declared, "Mommy that too hard." So instead he happily scattered kisses upon my body coupled with gentle hugs around my waist. Love, just love.
This morning as I moved through my warrior poses a happy, bubbly toddler twisted himself through my legs and played peek a boo while I was in triangle. He laid his warm little body upon my back during extended child pose. Um, bliss! It really helped me gently go deeper into the pose. Finally I finished in savasana with a beautiful baby boy quietly laying in my arms breathing with my breath.
Will this be every experience? Heck no! I am sure many will be difficult, even frustrating. I am sure I will have to stop and try to come back later. It will just not always work out to my expectations. (Ack! See there they are again!) But it is a wonderful lesson and allowing the day to unfold with ease and allowing myself to flow freely with how the rhythm chooses to present itself in that moment.
Love it.
Showing posts with label abundance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label abundance. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Monday, November 14, 2011
Priorities of a Different Path
Something on Facebook brought some thoughts to my mind. How often do I run into women who are exhausted, worn out, burnt out, overextended, and ready to cry. I would say the majority of women I know fall into this category. It was even said that everyone is overextended as if it is a simple fact of life that must be dealt with but never left behind. I am sure as we go about our daily lives, it may just feel that way. The average woman in our society has problems saying no and trouble maintaining healthy boundaries. It almost seems to be a societal conspiracy to convince her she is responsible for everyone and their emotions. I have seen the extreme in a few troubled Christian women who will not leave their abusive husbands because they are thoroughly convinced their staying and taking punches will ultimately save his soul. That is the extreme but how many women do you know neglect their health and well being in order to live up to some unreachable expectation place upon them by society and sadly, themselves? Maybe everyone, or every women, is just overextended. There is only one problem with that hypothesis.
I am not and I haven't been for quite some time.
More to the point, I know several other women who are not. These women and I refuse to follow that path. For me it leads to sadness, despair, and depression. Now matter how I strived for perfection I would always fail and it ate me up inside. So you know what I did? I quit. I refused to strap myself in to that insane rollercoaster. I have chosen a different path. And I have absolutely no regrets. None.
What I think it really comes down to is priorites. What you value in your life defines you. What you value in your life will shape every facet of your existence. It is who you are. My top three priorities shape me into my being. They are.
1. Peace in my life and in my home.
2. Relational living which means I work to have deep, meaningful relationships with my husband, my children, and the other important people in my life
3. The heath of me and my family. This includes physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.
How this all works is every step and every choice is deeply and profoundly influenced by these tenets of my life. As I said above, I used to be a terrible perfectionist. I drove myself to exhaustion. I would be cleaning my house at midnight when my body desperately needed sleep and rest. Now to maintain peace and health in my life, I still keep a fairly clean home. However, since perfect cleanliness is no longer the end goal my expectations are far more reasonable. I am much more gentle and graceful with myself.
I love feeding my family healthy whole food. I would love to feed them organic and/or grass fed everything always cooked from scratch. But it would literally drive me to distraction. While trying to hold a standard of excellence for physical health, I would stress and fret alot and ultimately sacrifice emotional and mental health. So there are compromises made to maintain the balance of needs of my entire family.
I take alot more time to myself than most of the women I know. I run, I read, I meditate, and do alot of yoga. I seek inspiration from the bible when I am feeling a bit ragged and know sometimes nothing would do my soul better than meeting a friend for coffee and laughter until I am crying with joy. I guarantee you that all the time I take drastically increases my ability to be a loving wife, mother, and friend. Not running around feeling like I am going to drop and insisting on regularly refreshing my spirit as enabled me to the person I really wanted to be even though it took me a long time to realize it.
I won't lie, there are sacrifices. We live in a much less expensive house than many of our friends. Other than a recent exception, we buy used cars. We don't eat out alot or go out on the town with friends. I have to plan and save for many of our purchases even things some people think are harmless impulse. We miss some holiday gatherings that would be really fun because I keep our committments down to a minimum. We can't do every activity or field trip. We can't run in every race nor travel as much as others.
But I am more than happy with our decisions. We love our life and we would not change it. The peace and joy we are privilege to feel every day makes it all worthwhile.
So if you love your life as it is, that is great. But if you don't, if you are constantly feeling worn and exhausted, there is another way. You can choose a different path.
I am not and I haven't been for quite some time.
More to the point, I know several other women who are not. These women and I refuse to follow that path. For me it leads to sadness, despair, and depression. Now matter how I strived for perfection I would always fail and it ate me up inside. So you know what I did? I quit. I refused to strap myself in to that insane rollercoaster. I have chosen a different path. And I have absolutely no regrets. None.
What I think it really comes down to is priorites. What you value in your life defines you. What you value in your life will shape every facet of your existence. It is who you are. My top three priorities shape me into my being. They are.
1. Peace in my life and in my home.
2. Relational living which means I work to have deep, meaningful relationships with my husband, my children, and the other important people in my life
3. The heath of me and my family. This includes physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.
How this all works is every step and every choice is deeply and profoundly influenced by these tenets of my life. As I said above, I used to be a terrible perfectionist. I drove myself to exhaustion. I would be cleaning my house at midnight when my body desperately needed sleep and rest. Now to maintain peace and health in my life, I still keep a fairly clean home. However, since perfect cleanliness is no longer the end goal my expectations are far more reasonable. I am much more gentle and graceful with myself.
I love feeding my family healthy whole food. I would love to feed them organic and/or grass fed everything always cooked from scratch. But it would literally drive me to distraction. While trying to hold a standard of excellence for physical health, I would stress and fret alot and ultimately sacrifice emotional and mental health. So there are compromises made to maintain the balance of needs of my entire family.
I take alot more time to myself than most of the women I know. I run, I read, I meditate, and do alot of yoga. I seek inspiration from the bible when I am feeling a bit ragged and know sometimes nothing would do my soul better than meeting a friend for coffee and laughter until I am crying with joy. I guarantee you that all the time I take drastically increases my ability to be a loving wife, mother, and friend. Not running around feeling like I am going to drop and insisting on regularly refreshing my spirit as enabled me to the person I really wanted to be even though it took me a long time to realize it.
I won't lie, there are sacrifices. We live in a much less expensive house than many of our friends. Other than a recent exception, we buy used cars. We don't eat out alot or go out on the town with friends. I have to plan and save for many of our purchases even things some people think are harmless impulse. We miss some holiday gatherings that would be really fun because I keep our committments down to a minimum. We can't do every activity or field trip. We can't run in every race nor travel as much as others.
But I am more than happy with our decisions. We love our life and we would not change it. The peace and joy we are privilege to feel every day makes it all worthwhile.
So if you love your life as it is, that is great. But if you don't, if you are constantly feeling worn and exhausted, there is another way. You can choose a different path.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
I Am Extraordinary: Living a Life of Adventure and Challenge
You may have noticed I have been away from my blog lately. The reason is the following post. I actually wrote it some time ago but immediately following its creation, I went out and lived it. I hope you enjoy it.
The other day I was thinking of what a montage of my lie would look like and what I want my theme song to be. The theme song is easy to me, "Extraordinary" by Liz Phair. It is a great song about a woman who initially lives for others and their approval then suddenly says, "Heck with you people. I am pretty amazing just the way I am!!"
Now before you think my psyche is rife with unbridled arrogance, I'll share a little secret with you. I think every woman is extraordinary but many have not come to that realization. But you can my sweet sister, you really can.
Anyhoo, my life montage, let's get back to that, shall we? I do not want picture after picture of me sitting slack jawed on the couch watching mindless tv or hunched up in a chair blankly starting a computer screen. Nope, I want snaps of me climbing an obstacle, swimming a river, running through fire, and belly crawling through the mud. (Okay, okay so my montage closely resembles a Spartan Adventure Race and I do want to do that but let's stick with the metaphor.)
Ultimately, I want to live a life of adventure and challenge. I want deep, close relationships with people who will teach, encourage, nurture, and value me just as I am for who I am. I want to favor back to them. I want to love fully and joyfully, experiencing the pain and euphoria that comes with a well lived life.
I want to learn, always learn, another language, a new instrument, painting, whatever strikes my fancy and stirs the embers of my passion. The world is a vast, amazing place too full of wonder to ever be bored.
I want to physically challenge myself. I want to run a marathon and compete in hardcore triathlons. I long to the bottom of my soul to learn aerial silks and suspended hoops. Oh and I will do it. I want to find physical challenges diverse and varied. Of course, the aforementioned adventure races fit nicely right here.
Create. That is huge for me, artistic expression. Hooping falls in here. Poi, staff, and other flow toys are all fair game in this life of exploration. I want to expand my writing. I want "to do" art of all kinds. Who cares if I am any good??? I want to create.
What I am looking to do is to live my life fully. Every moment of every day means something. Each is valuable. Quiet moments can have some of the greatest impact. It is all so important and once a moment is gone it will never come back so I want to savor as many as I can.
Well, there is a fairly good description of what I want. But what do you want? What would your montage look like? Would you be amazed with joy or whould think, what have I been spending my time on? It is not too late, it is NEVER too late, to change your life story.
The other day I was thinking of what a montage of my lie would look like and what I want my theme song to be. The theme song is easy to me, "Extraordinary" by Liz Phair. It is a great song about a woman who initially lives for others and their approval then suddenly says, "Heck with you people. I am pretty amazing just the way I am!!"
Now before you think my psyche is rife with unbridled arrogance, I'll share a little secret with you. I think every woman is extraordinary but many have not come to that realization. But you can my sweet sister, you really can.
Anyhoo, my life montage, let's get back to that, shall we? I do not want picture after picture of me sitting slack jawed on the couch watching mindless tv or hunched up in a chair blankly starting a computer screen. Nope, I want snaps of me climbing an obstacle, swimming a river, running through fire, and belly crawling through the mud. (Okay, okay so my montage closely resembles a Spartan Adventure Race and I do want to do that but let's stick with the metaphor.)
Ultimately, I want to live a life of adventure and challenge. I want deep, close relationships with people who will teach, encourage, nurture, and value me just as I am for who I am. I want to favor back to them. I want to love fully and joyfully, experiencing the pain and euphoria that comes with a well lived life.
I want to learn, always learn, another language, a new instrument, painting, whatever strikes my fancy and stirs the embers of my passion. The world is a vast, amazing place too full of wonder to ever be bored.
I want to physically challenge myself. I want to run a marathon and compete in hardcore triathlons. I long to the bottom of my soul to learn aerial silks and suspended hoops. Oh and I will do it. I want to find physical challenges diverse and varied. Of course, the aforementioned adventure races fit nicely right here.
Create. That is huge for me, artistic expression. Hooping falls in here. Poi, staff, and other flow toys are all fair game in this life of exploration. I want to expand my writing. I want "to do" art of all kinds. Who cares if I am any good??? I want to create.
What I am looking to do is to live my life fully. Every moment of every day means something. Each is valuable. Quiet moments can have some of the greatest impact. It is all so important and once a moment is gone it will never come back so I want to savor as many as I can.
Well, there is a fairly good description of what I want. But what do you want? What would your montage look like? Would you be amazed with joy or whould think, what have I been spending my time on? It is not too late, it is NEVER too late, to change your life story.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Beautiful Summer Days
We have been blessed with the fleeting days of early summer. They show up randomly and without warning here in Missouri. The days are a gentle upper 70's maybe lower 80's. The humidity is exceptional low, always a cause to celebrate. The sun shines with a purity and clarity rarely seen. The lush greens are illuminated and the vibrant colors of rampantly growing flowers catch the eye in juxtaposition. The air smells clean and fresh. It is the smell of a day newly born to this world.
I am so happy to be mentally present for this time. If I had remained tied up in self imposed anxieties and manufactured worries, I would missed all of this. It would have been tragic. Glad to have missed the worry and embraced the joy.
This weekend is shaping up to be fairly free flowing. I love those times. If I am not stormed out, I want to get a 10 mile run in early. I have rediscovered my love of running, the joy of simply moving. It is a treasured gift. I found out there will be a hoop jam in a local park. I am excited to go. I want to get in contact with the local hooping community. It has not been the focus I would like. I want to jump, or dance, right back in to the circle. I love it will be at a park. I LOVE hooping in nature and my family can go with me and play. Win-win for all.
We have been enjoying this gorgeous weather. I am taking time to connect with my precious babies. Running through the grass, sharing smiles and laughter, watching them discover baby animals and explore new environments. It has been heavenly.
In a moment, I will log off my computer and spend some quality morning time snuggling and talking with my babies. Then I will put a batch of chili in the crockpot. It will feed us many meals this weekend. Then we will be free to run back outside and experience today. It will only be here for a moment and will never come again.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
This morning, for the first time, I rose at 4:20 am to go out running. I have wanted to do this for a long time but a precious little one has shared my bed until the past couple of weeks. He is a very light sleeper so if I woke, so did he. But this morning was mine.
It was hard to roll out of bed. I could hear a light drizzle. Maybe I should just stay in my warm, dark room snuggled with my husband. But I knew it would be worth it.I stumbled downstairs and went through my preparations on autopilot. It may be a good thing to get up early but it is not a bouncy, energetic thing.
I met my group while it was still dark and we took off. It was glorious. I had forgotten the stillness and beauty of early morning. It was quiet, the world was at rest.All the hustle and bustle still slowed. Maybe all that rushing around and noise is necessary but there is a part deep inside of me holding tight to the idea we would all be better off if we slowed down and learned to listen to the quiet. The sky lightened until the magically time of twilight surround us. Twice a day, twilight comes and it is my favorite time. With the shadows of twilight, the child in me thinks there just may be something to all the tales of magic, fairies, and their ilk. We ran quietly with th wind gently winding around us on our path. The soft rhythmic sound of our shoes hitting the road.
On this run is a nasty little hill, big hill actually. It is sneaky. You don't really realize how long or how hard it is until your are deep within its grip. But it is joyfully rewarding as well. When you finally reach the crest a euphoria carries you downhill and along a cobble path. The harder you work, the more intense the joy. This morning I was rewarded for my efforts not only by the expected rush of good feeling, but a stunning sunrise laid out before me. Gorgeous.
After my run, I came back to a sleeping house. My workout is done and my family still slumbers. I have written, drank coffee, and read my bible. It is the perfect way to start the day. May you have a wonderful day.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Soooo Much Better
Attiude and focus play an immense role in our lives. I hope you never underestimate them. It can be the difference between stress and being fairly miserable and joy and peace. The decision to back off on my physical pursuits, marathon and half Iron man, have granted me immediately results. Understand, nothing has really changed in my life except my perspective which is reflected in my attitude and focus. I am still running just as much since I had not started the climb in miles. But life is dreamily beautiful again.
Due to some insane storms, I only ran once this past week. Before my change of heart, this would have been cause for a great deal of consternation. In in effort to scramble my plans to fit those runs in, I would have trashed my weekend and my family's weekend as well. But instead, oh well, I will go back on Tuesday. Therefore Saturday was filled with a fun but drippy trip to the farmer's markt and some much needed gardening.
I had been reading a blog recently that stated if some project is draining because it is NOT getting done, why don't you do it? My newfound mental clarity illuminated two stressors in my life, the pantry and the huge craft closet. Both of them were tackled this weekend and I am happy to say even more weight was lifted.
Today has been simply joyful. I have savored the opportunity to experience moments as I prepared the produce from this weekend's trip to the market and did the every day mundane chores. These mundane chores enable my family to live in a clean, tidy, and happy home. It was joyful to take the time to reflect on the purpose of my actions and praise God for the opportunity to serve my family. It was simply beautiful.
The most important thing is my attitude to my wonderful, crazy, messy, hilarious babies has changed. I am ashamed to say, I was becoming annoyed with them. I realize now it felt as if they were getting in the way of the things I needed to get done. They were a distraction. But the truth is, they are not a distraction, no not at all, they are the reason. My incredible littles are one of the main reasons I do what I do. It is for them, for our family, It is to create a home of warmth, joy, comfort, and family. It is NOT to be productive. I lost my way on the path. But I have returned.
I am amazed and humbled I have such a wondrous life, mine for the asking. All I had to do was realize I had wandered off and Presto! it is mine again. I love these people who form my family. I am savoring these times of growing closer and reaffirming our bonds. Amazing, it realy is.
Due to some insane storms, I only ran once this past week. Before my change of heart, this would have been cause for a great deal of consternation. In in effort to scramble my plans to fit those runs in, I would have trashed my weekend and my family's weekend as well. But instead, oh well, I will go back on Tuesday. Therefore Saturday was filled with a fun but drippy trip to the farmer's markt and some much needed gardening.
I had been reading a blog recently that stated if some project is draining because it is NOT getting done, why don't you do it? My newfound mental clarity illuminated two stressors in my life, the pantry and the huge craft closet. Both of them were tackled this weekend and I am happy to say even more weight was lifted.
Today has been simply joyful. I have savored the opportunity to experience moments as I prepared the produce from this weekend's trip to the market and did the every day mundane chores. These mundane chores enable my family to live in a clean, tidy, and happy home. It was joyful to take the time to reflect on the purpose of my actions and praise God for the opportunity to serve my family. It was simply beautiful.
The most important thing is my attitude to my wonderful, crazy, messy, hilarious babies has changed. I am ashamed to say, I was becoming annoyed with them. I realize now it felt as if they were getting in the way of the things I needed to get done. They were a distraction. But the truth is, they are not a distraction, no not at all, they are the reason. My incredible littles are one of the main reasons I do what I do. It is for them, for our family, It is to create a home of warmth, joy, comfort, and family. It is NOT to be productive. I lost my way on the path. But I have returned.
I am amazed and humbled I have such a wondrous life, mine for the asking. All I had to do was realize I had wandered off and Presto! it is mine again. I love these people who form my family. I am savoring these times of growing closer and reaffirming our bonds. Amazing, it realy is.
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Happy is NOT the Only Acceptable Emotion
The past few days have been rather rough. There were some very stressful things happen in our lives and I was having trouble choosing joy daily. Not only that, but we have all been dealing with a bug and that makes it even less fun. Yesterday found me just down and sort of blue. I tried everything to snap out of it but it was not working. I focused on my blessings, on beautiful things, on things that normally bring me joy and peace. Nothing. Then the mantra that I repeat over and over for this house and my children plastered itself smack in the middle of my mind"
Happy is NOT the only acceptable emotion. All emotions are valid.
Hmmm, I do say that alot. You see, I do not demand my children to be happy all of the time. I do not demand for them to perform emotionally for me or anyone else on command. We are learning to be civil but civil is not slapping a fake smile on your face and pretending everything is happy happy joy joy when you are honestly dying a bit on the inside. That would be fake and dishonest. And it wouldn't be Authentic. That is also a commnon word in our house. Our children are allowed to be sad, scared, crabby, and even angry. They can even say, are you ready for this? "I am angry with you mommy!" That it totally permitted. They are allowed to voice their disagreement or objection to well, anything. That doesn't mean the situation will change but I am adamant they should learn to respectfully disagree and understand their feelings and opinions matter.
I know alot of parents would rather their children not show or deal with big emotions especially in public. It can be inconvenient, embarrassing, and messy. But do we really want to teach our children to stuff all their emotions down and put on their happy, public face? Has that really worked for anyone? Ever? Let's look at it.
Teaching people to stuff their emotions has led to a huge group of people who can no longer express their emotions but instead eat them. By this I mean they turn to food. Then they are dealing not only with eating disorders or obesity but eventually all of those suppressed emotions are going to come screaming out. There are people who turn to alchohol and drugs to self medicate the pain away. Often that pain is caused or exacerbated by the inability to process emotions and feelings in a healthy way. Then there are the people pleasers. They have been taught their thoughts and feelings do not matter. They must never tell anyone no becuase that could be offensive. Even when they are completely overwhelmed, they put on their happy face and keep on for the sake of appearances even though they are a destroyed mess on the inside.
Examples of how stuffing your emotions can affect you negatively run rampant in our society especially among women. The point is I want better for my children. Um, I want better for myself. I want to be healthy, honest, open, and authentic. I don't want to slap on my happy face and trudge out into the world with a fake facade and a dying heart. Nope, don't want that at all.
There is another saying in this house, "Grace is for mommas too." It stems from our parenting technique. We believe in gentle parenting and grace based discipline. We do not believe that punitive or shaming behaviors will benefit our children. In fact, we believe they can cause severe harm and damage to our relationship. So we extend grace to our children. Some days, momma needs even more grace than the babies do. Being graceful and loving with myself is a very important lesson to teach my children.
So I stood in my sad little place and I thought about all of this. Of course, this realization and self forgiveness was the release my bad mood needed. After I worked through this process, my mood lifted and I felt the joy return with ease and fullness.
Is happy the only acceptable emotion in your home or in your life? Do you really think it is serving you well? Does what other people think really matter THAT much to you?
Happy is NOT the only acceptable emotion. All emotions are valid.
Hmmm, I do say that alot. You see, I do not demand my children to be happy all of the time. I do not demand for them to perform emotionally for me or anyone else on command. We are learning to be civil but civil is not slapping a fake smile on your face and pretending everything is happy happy joy joy when you are honestly dying a bit on the inside. That would be fake and dishonest. And it wouldn't be Authentic. That is also a commnon word in our house. Our children are allowed to be sad, scared, crabby, and even angry. They can even say, are you ready for this? "I am angry with you mommy!" That it totally permitted. They are allowed to voice their disagreement or objection to well, anything. That doesn't mean the situation will change but I am adamant they should learn to respectfully disagree and understand their feelings and opinions matter.
I know alot of parents would rather their children not show or deal with big emotions especially in public. It can be inconvenient, embarrassing, and messy. But do we really want to teach our children to stuff all their emotions down and put on their happy, public face? Has that really worked for anyone? Ever? Let's look at it.
Teaching people to stuff their emotions has led to a huge group of people who can no longer express their emotions but instead eat them. By this I mean they turn to food. Then they are dealing not only with eating disorders or obesity but eventually all of those suppressed emotions are going to come screaming out. There are people who turn to alchohol and drugs to self medicate the pain away. Often that pain is caused or exacerbated by the inability to process emotions and feelings in a healthy way. Then there are the people pleasers. They have been taught their thoughts and feelings do not matter. They must never tell anyone no becuase that could be offensive. Even when they are completely overwhelmed, they put on their happy face and keep on for the sake of appearances even though they are a destroyed mess on the inside.
Examples of how stuffing your emotions can affect you negatively run rampant in our society especially among women. The point is I want better for my children. Um, I want better for myself. I want to be healthy, honest, open, and authentic. I don't want to slap on my happy face and trudge out into the world with a fake facade and a dying heart. Nope, don't want that at all.
There is another saying in this house, "Grace is for mommas too." It stems from our parenting technique. We believe in gentle parenting and grace based discipline. We do not believe that punitive or shaming behaviors will benefit our children. In fact, we believe they can cause severe harm and damage to our relationship. So we extend grace to our children. Some days, momma needs even more grace than the babies do. Being graceful and loving with myself is a very important lesson to teach my children.
So I stood in my sad little place and I thought about all of this. Of course, this realization and self forgiveness was the release my bad mood needed. After I worked through this process, my mood lifted and I felt the joy return with ease and fullness.
Is happy the only acceptable emotion in your home or in your life? Do you really think it is serving you well? Does what other people think really matter THAT much to you?
Monday, May 2, 2011
Month of May Personal Challenge
I had every intention of challenging myself with three things this month, 20 minutes a day of yoga, 30 minutes daily hooping, and going sugar free. However, I am a firm believer you must embrace flexibility in order to fully live your life of abundance. A few things happened:
Two weeks ago in a fit of yuck, I gave up sugar early. I had intended for this to be only for the month of May but I have quickly refined my focus to incorporating it into my lifestyle. I did not realize the horrible grip sugar had on me. I feel incredible and I didn't feel that bad before. This is immendsely better. My sleeping issues just left. I am sleeping so soundly now and waking refreshed and ready for the day. Whole foods taste amazing. Finally, when the bloating in my abdomen left I was shocked. I did not understand at all the effect sugar had on me.
We have figuratively moved to Ireland. We have had so much rain I believe a displaced group of Irish refugee fairies have taken up residence in my now verdant and lush perennial garden. Although I am in pure love with my only two year old flowers, I can barely find enough dryness to hoop. Hooping inside is just not possible, so that challenge will wait. I will still hoop any day I can but I will not hold myself to a particular goal.
I did start my yoga challenge and it is lovely. I keep it to only 20 minutes as a goal because I am unable to truly practice with the children. I know, I know I can do yoga with the kids but it isn't the same. But I will probably be able to practice many days for much longer periods of time. I love yoga. It balances me in so many ways, physically and emotionally. When I practice regularly, I maintain a centered and content mind. It is amazing.
I am increasing my running because as I said last post, I am going for the full marathon. I am very excited about the training and the challenge it will be to my committment, determination, mental strength, and physical ability. I love reaching for goals that I am not quite sure I can make. It makes life...sweeter.
Two weeks ago in a fit of yuck, I gave up sugar early. I had intended for this to be only for the month of May but I have quickly refined my focus to incorporating it into my lifestyle. I did not realize the horrible grip sugar had on me. I feel incredible and I didn't feel that bad before. This is immendsely better. My sleeping issues just left. I am sleeping so soundly now and waking refreshed and ready for the day. Whole foods taste amazing. Finally, when the bloating in my abdomen left I was shocked. I did not understand at all the effect sugar had on me.
We have figuratively moved to Ireland. We have had so much rain I believe a displaced group of Irish refugee fairies have taken up residence in my now verdant and lush perennial garden. Although I am in pure love with my only two year old flowers, I can barely find enough dryness to hoop. Hooping inside is just not possible, so that challenge will wait. I will still hoop any day I can but I will not hold myself to a particular goal.
I did start my yoga challenge and it is lovely. I keep it to only 20 minutes as a goal because I am unable to truly practice with the children. I know, I know I can do yoga with the kids but it isn't the same. But I will probably be able to practice many days for much longer periods of time. I love yoga. It balances me in so many ways, physically and emotionally. When I practice regularly, I maintain a centered and content mind. It is amazing.
I am increasing my running because as I said last post, I am going for the full marathon. I am very excited about the training and the challenge it will be to my committment, determination, mental strength, and physical ability. I love reaching for goals that I am not quite sure I can make. It makes life...sweeter.
Monday, April 25, 2011
But What Do YOU Want?
So this entire post has come from the HGTV show "House Hunters" and a quote from Epicurus. Now how cool, groovy, and esoteric is that?? I am simply fascinated with the ubiquitous fascination of stainless steel appliances on "House Hunters". This couple will walk into a gorgeous kitchen, usually stating they never cook, look around and say, "Oh but the appliances aren't stainless. That is just a deal breaker!". I sit there thinking, "Really??? Why?? Have you tried to keep stainless looking good especially with children? Impossible. THIS is your deal breaker??". It makes no sense. And then the quote from Epicurus, "If thou wilt make a man happy, add not unto his riches but take away from his desires." All in all some pretty good stuff.
But then I started thinking. What if isn't our desires that cause so much strife and anxiety but the desires that we have been socially conditioned to accept as what everyone should want or more insidious, what the "good life" entails? What if keeping up with the Jones is what is really getting us, and keeping us, down?
I think we can all agree that several decades of relentlessly and ruthlessly attempting to keep up with that proverbial family has landed us all into serious hot water. If not you personally, then the country in general. The mindless pursuit of wealth and status has led to a staggering number of foreclosures, respossesions, sky high credit card bills, and bankruptcys. Even more sad, it is has led to divorce, depression, families ripped apart, and suicide. Remember, this is the "good life".
So I challenge you to really think about what you really want. If you take away all the commercials, ads, and adult peer pressure, what would actually make you happy and bring you true peace?
I will tell you what I want. I want a house full of love, laughter, gentleness, and joy. I want my children to run and laugh with abandon inside the house. I don't want no-no rooms or things lying around that would be tragic if they were broken in a game of don't touch the floor.
I don't want an impressively beautiful home. I want a home that is warm, lovely, and quirky. I want you to take off your shoes because you are are comfy and snug not because you might mess something up. I want a home full of hospitality. I hope my home will be the place deep relationships are born and nurtured. A place where you know you can come to laugh, share your joys, cry when your heart is breaking, or lean on a strong shoulder when you just can't do it alone anymore. I don't want it to be a showcase of all my fancy material stuff.
I want a home filled with ideas. I want passionate and lively discussion not zombies in front of a huge flat screen tv. I want books passed around, digested, and dissected. I want to hear arguments over what Shakespeare really meant by....
I want yummy, healthy food. I want friends to stop by for a quick bowl of hearty soup. I want dinner parties full of joy and friendship. Not formal affairs, but casual craziness that finds people on the floor, the couch, the sunroom, wherever.
I want a car that can handle muddy trips to the creek. I see tired babies falling asleep after a day of adventure and exploration. Their dreams are of all the wonderful things they have seen not momma screaming because the precious interior of the car might get dirty.
I don't want a Wii. Nope not at all. I don't want a game system to simulate experiences. I would much rather play tennis with my children, take them bowling, hula hoop with them outside. There is no need to pretend if you really do it. In addition, I want to be active in general. I want long family hikes. I want to play without inhibition on the playground with my children. I want to race together when we are older.
I desperately want my children to know that it is NOT necessary to always give your best and your all to any endeavor. I want them to learn that sometimes good enough IS good enough. I hope they learn that not striving for perfection can be much healthier and leave more time and energy for other things. Be the best all the time often leads to adults desperately overcoming perfection and self confidence issues.
I want my children to be open and willing to try new things and fail gloriously. I want them to try the piano even if they are tone deaf. I want them to understand that parents who scream and berate their children to constantly succeed at all costs are....wrong and sad.
I want a family that love God with all their mind, all the heart, all the strenth, with all their all. I want a house laid back enought to fingerpaint and make paper mache messes, to create. I want a family who shares close bonds, love, laughter, tears, fears, joys, and sorrows without shame or derision. I want friends who are family and family who are friends.
Truthfully, I am extraordinarily bless that I already have most of my wants. Some days are better than others. Some days I get caught up in wanting some nonsense a well paid ad executive told me to want. But most days, this is what I want and I praise God because this is what I have. So I aske you, what do you want?
But then I started thinking. What if isn't our desires that cause so much strife and anxiety but the desires that we have been socially conditioned to accept as what everyone should want or more insidious, what the "good life" entails? What if keeping up with the Jones is what is really getting us, and keeping us, down?
I think we can all agree that several decades of relentlessly and ruthlessly attempting to keep up with that proverbial family has landed us all into serious hot water. If not you personally, then the country in general. The mindless pursuit of wealth and status has led to a staggering number of foreclosures, respossesions, sky high credit card bills, and bankruptcys. Even more sad, it is has led to divorce, depression, families ripped apart, and suicide. Remember, this is the "good life".
So I challenge you to really think about what you really want. If you take away all the commercials, ads, and adult peer pressure, what would actually make you happy and bring you true peace?
I will tell you what I want. I want a house full of love, laughter, gentleness, and joy. I want my children to run and laugh with abandon inside the house. I don't want no-no rooms or things lying around that would be tragic if they were broken in a game of don't touch the floor.
I don't want an impressively beautiful home. I want a home that is warm, lovely, and quirky. I want you to take off your shoes because you are are comfy and snug not because you might mess something up. I want a home full of hospitality. I hope my home will be the place deep relationships are born and nurtured. A place where you know you can come to laugh, share your joys, cry when your heart is breaking, or lean on a strong shoulder when you just can't do it alone anymore. I don't want it to be a showcase of all my fancy material stuff.
I want a home filled with ideas. I want passionate and lively discussion not zombies in front of a huge flat screen tv. I want books passed around, digested, and dissected. I want to hear arguments over what Shakespeare really meant by....
I want yummy, healthy food. I want friends to stop by for a quick bowl of hearty soup. I want dinner parties full of joy and friendship. Not formal affairs, but casual craziness that finds people on the floor, the couch, the sunroom, wherever.
I want a car that can handle muddy trips to the creek. I see tired babies falling asleep after a day of adventure and exploration. Their dreams are of all the wonderful things they have seen not momma screaming because the precious interior of the car might get dirty.
I don't want a Wii. Nope not at all. I don't want a game system to simulate experiences. I would much rather play tennis with my children, take them bowling, hula hoop with them outside. There is no need to pretend if you really do it. In addition, I want to be active in general. I want long family hikes. I want to play without inhibition on the playground with my children. I want to race together when we are older.
I desperately want my children to know that it is NOT necessary to always give your best and your all to any endeavor. I want them to learn that sometimes good enough IS good enough. I hope they learn that not striving for perfection can be much healthier and leave more time and energy for other things. Be the best all the time often leads to adults desperately overcoming perfection and self confidence issues.
I want my children to be open and willing to try new things and fail gloriously. I want them to try the piano even if they are tone deaf. I want them to understand that parents who scream and berate their children to constantly succeed at all costs are....wrong and sad.
I want a family that love God with all their mind, all the heart, all the strenth, with all their all. I want a house laid back enought to fingerpaint and make paper mache messes, to create. I want a family who shares close bonds, love, laughter, tears, fears, joys, and sorrows without shame or derision. I want friends who are family and family who are friends.
Truthfully, I am extraordinarily bless that I already have most of my wants. Some days are better than others. Some days I get caught up in wanting some nonsense a well paid ad executive told me to want. But most days, this is what I want and I praise God because this is what I have. So I aske you, what do you want?
Friday, April 15, 2011
The Importance of Being Rested
I am still walking in a cloud of accomplishment and joy from the half marathon. Seriously, what an incredible, amazing experience it was. I think I have a bad case of running sickness. I am considering running the full marathon. Craziness thy name is Karen. I am hooked but I guess there are worse obsessions.
However, it really wrecked my energy. I wasn't nearly as hungry as I thought I would be probably due to the heat. I made myself eat anyway but I am not sure it was enough. On Tuesday, I ran a light 3 miles to stretch my legs. It was awesome for my sore muscles but it was the last straw for my energy. It drained me to almost nothing. I felt I had nothing left to give anyone or anything.
I could have fought it. Maybe I could have filled up on caffeine and sugar. But in the end, I decided to go with it. I have been working towards living much more slowly and intentionally in all aspects of life. For a strong willed, type A personality like myself, that is a tall order. But I am making progress. This seemed like a perfect opportunity to listen to my body and let it tell me what it needed.
It has been wonderful. I have eaten my fill of wholesome, yummy food. I have laughed and snuggled with my beautfiful babies. I have slowly hooped and pushed my children on their swingset. I have relaxed quietly in a chaise lounge and watched my children play. I have savored quiet soul-filling moments with a precious friend. I have rested. I have read. I have taken a much needed break and I feel incredible.
This morning I woke and my energy had returned. But it had brought along a friend, a calm peaceful contentment that fills me and makes me feel as if I am glowing with joy and health. It is truly the best I have felt in months, perhaps years. Who knows how long? Doesn't matter because it is here right here, right now, at this perfect moment.
So I am sitting here drinking my favorite afternoon Darjeeling tea. A new favorite candle made with lime, ginger, and vanilla fills my home with what clean vibrant energy must smell like. My babies are sleeing. Soon Logan will wake and I will curl up with him so he will sleep a bit longer. My warm, precious baby will snuggle as close as he can get to momma and I will know this is what love feels like.
I am rested and it is wonderful. How often to we push past exhaustion until we reach a state that we no longer feel human? How often do we will we MUST get everything on our to do list done or the... what the world will stop spinning?? I think I am going to try very hard to remember the joy, peace, and patience true rest brings me. I am going to try to remember how much a better momma, wife, friend, and woman I am when I have allowed my body to get the rest and healing it needs. It really is truly important.
However, it really wrecked my energy. I wasn't nearly as hungry as I thought I would be probably due to the heat. I made myself eat anyway but I am not sure it was enough. On Tuesday, I ran a light 3 miles to stretch my legs. It was awesome for my sore muscles but it was the last straw for my energy. It drained me to almost nothing. I felt I had nothing left to give anyone or anything.
I could have fought it. Maybe I could have filled up on caffeine and sugar. But in the end, I decided to go with it. I have been working towards living much more slowly and intentionally in all aspects of life. For a strong willed, type A personality like myself, that is a tall order. But I am making progress. This seemed like a perfect opportunity to listen to my body and let it tell me what it needed.
It has been wonderful. I have eaten my fill of wholesome, yummy food. I have laughed and snuggled with my beautfiful babies. I have slowly hooped and pushed my children on their swingset. I have relaxed quietly in a chaise lounge and watched my children play. I have savored quiet soul-filling moments with a precious friend. I have rested. I have read. I have taken a much needed break and I feel incredible.
This morning I woke and my energy had returned. But it had brought along a friend, a calm peaceful contentment that fills me and makes me feel as if I am glowing with joy and health. It is truly the best I have felt in months, perhaps years. Who knows how long? Doesn't matter because it is here right here, right now, at this perfect moment.
So I am sitting here drinking my favorite afternoon Darjeeling tea. A new favorite candle made with lime, ginger, and vanilla fills my home with what clean vibrant energy must smell like. My babies are sleeing. Soon Logan will wake and I will curl up with him so he will sleep a bit longer. My warm, precious baby will snuggle as close as he can get to momma and I will know this is what love feels like.
I am rested and it is wonderful. How often to we push past exhaustion until we reach a state that we no longer feel human? How often do we will we MUST get everything on our to do list done or the... what the world will stop spinning?? I think I am going to try very hard to remember the joy, peace, and patience true rest brings me. I am going to try to remember how much a better momma, wife, friend, and woman I am when I have allowed my body to get the rest and healing it needs. It really is truly important.
Friday, April 1, 2011
I Want to Train for Cirque du Soleil
Okay, I ran into another blog post over at A Whole Lot of Hoop Love (sorry I can't figure out how to embed and I am excited about my subject) about the things she wants to do to be a circus performer. I totally get where she is coming from with this. I really do. You see, I have a whole plan laid out on my journey to train for Cirque du Soleil. Do I think I am going to get there?? Well of course not, I am an almost 40 year old women with two small children. I am neither young/flexible enough nor free from responsibilities enough to run off to join any circus. But the journey, oh my the journey will be AMAZING!! I already hoop and I will take classes for my doubles and minis soon. I want to learn more poi over the summer. I intend to take belly dancing lessons soon. And then the coolest, coolest part, AERIALS! Bumbershoots here in St Louis has classes for both aerial silks and aerial hoop. Hubs says go for it!! (Love, love that man. He truly is coolest hubs evah!!!!) So that is my plan for the next 6 months or so, to explore the creative and physical side of the circus-y type arts. They are so elegant, beautiful, and let's be honest, downright gorgeous. It is just the kind of beauty in my life and my world that makes me happy. I just had a morning with my amazing friend Sarah. Seriously, she is one of the most beautiful and light filled souls I have ever met. My week is better from the visit. I know my life is better because of the friendship. Anyhoo, we were discussing my let's call it gregarious and inhibition free personality. I wasn't always like this. I used to be caught up in the world and the rat race that so aptly describes it. I used to think I will be happy and really start living my life when... oh fill in the blank. It didn't matter what is is but it held me back. One day I thought, I am done. I am living today for today and living a life that I am proud of and makes me happy. And that is what I did. And now what makes me proud and happy is to train to be a circus performer. I love my life. It is so cool to me.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Cultivating Friendships
It is less than two weeks before my first half marathon, my first race ever. I am very excited. I am running 12 miles this weekend but the thing is, I am ready. I am surprised but there you are. I don't know how fast or amazing I will be but I am ready. Actually, I will be pretty amazing to me because I am going to run 13.1 miles and that is pretty fabulous to me. I have a hard time believing it is real. But it is very real. So what next? That is the question right? I like what knowing what is next. It gives me comfort. In reality, I am fairly flexible and okay with my plans changing but I still like a plan, a rough map so to speak. The next stage is presenting itself in all its alliterative glory, "Family, Friends, and Fun". Not the most original perhaps but it is important to me. What does it mean exactly? Two things are a part of the foundation of this plan that make appear to be unrelated at first glance but I believe them to be critical. First, I am committing to a 60 day yoga challenge. Each day I will do at least 20 minutes of yoga. I hope to do much more but I want to make a realistic challenge. After all, I have two littles who very much need my attention. The second is all about the food. We are looking to really clean up our diet. We, hubs and I, are focusing on lots of fresh veggies and fruit with as much locally grown as possible. In fact, we are going to do some container gardening ourselves. We desire to follow as closet to a whole foods diet as possible with little to no processed food. Including within that statement is the idea that causes me a great deal of trepidation, saying good bye to white and brown sugar for the duration. It could be 30 days, 60 days, or who knows. I do know that I have an addiction to sugar and this is the only way to clean it from my system. What do the above two things have to do with a summer of "Food, Family, and Fun"? Well, I have known for awhile that I am slightly off center of the place a desire to be in my life. I don't like the word balance. It implies perfection to me and I am learning to revel in my glorious imperfect nature. Perhaps I can call it the center of my life. It is the place I am healthiest, happiest, and most at peace. It brings me calm. I like it there, its nice. It is also the best starting point for any endeavor I may undertake. Yoga and healthy, nourishing foods are two of the greatest helps to get there. This summer is important to me although it may seems fanciful or just another way to follow my bliss. Connections and relationships are of utmost important in our lives. I am coming to believe that although technology brings a great deal of information, help, and enables us to do things that just a few years ago were unthinkable, it also is creating distance and disharmony in our lives. I want to close those gaps and feel harmony again. I intend to actively pursue quality within my relationships. This intention is both for friends and family. I intend to eshew much of the technology in my home and focus instead and companionship and building friendships. I want to take the time to really get to know some just amazing people in my life. I have not decided how this will unpack, exactly. With so much of the everyday workings of my life on the computer, it is hard to get rid of it for any extended period of time. I do think it will be regulated to very limit use. Some days any screen time will be verboten. I desire to live my life more in reality than online. I want to take this time to refresh myself and revitalize my passions. This summer I hope my joie de vivre will explode and the result will turn the ordinary magical.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Sparkly Glitter and Bright Hair Bows
Hi, my name is Karen and I am a soccer mom failure. I cannot wear matching sweatsuits with a perky haircut. Don't get me wrong, that is totally cool if that is you but it just isn't me. It makes me feel so fake and blah! Deep down in my heart I am a sparkly fairy ready to burst forth and spread sunshine and rainbows. There are days I really want to wear a tiara because I think it is pretty. I like clothes with glitter. I really do. There it is, my admission.
There was a time in my life I said, when I am 70, I am going to wear a tiara and sparkly purple eyeshadow. I am going to wear a feather boa to Walmart if I deign to do so that day. I am not longer care what people think and I will let my personality really shine through.
Well kids, hold on because it looks like 70 has come 30 plus years early. I have decided I am going to live out that attitude now while I can still dance wildly dressed in glitter and feathers. And I have my hoop and the freeing nature hoopdance to thank for it. So thank you hoop! Thank you hoopdance! I love you!
Somewhere in my head, it became embedded that I had to become more conservative and reserved as I became older. Now that I was a mother, I had to put a public face on and be more dignified.Well I have decided I don't wanna. Besides, I am not a mother, I am one hip, groovy momma and I am going to stay that way. I am going to buy ruffly shorts to hoop in and have a friend make me sparkle filled colorful hairbows to put in my hair. I am even going to wear glitter eyeshadow and I am going to love life while I do it. If anyone has anything nasty to say I can guarantee they aren't loving life as much as I am. Besides, my husband things it is sexy. And that is a good enough reason on its own.
Seriously though, why do we hide behind clothes that aren't really us and practice hobbies that are proper for our stage of life but we don't really have much interest in? You can be a mature, responsible adult and wear fairy wings if you so choose. You really can. Why do we find it necessary to hide away parts of our personality in order to be more acceptable to others? We are fearfully and wonderfully made with all our quirks and eccentricities. God loves us for who we are not for some public persona we might pretend to be.
So my question to you is, are you hiding? Are you covering up some quirks that others might think strange? I guarantee you we all have them. Is this inhibiting you to leading you life fully, outloud, and with abundance? If so, are you willing to have the courage and step out as you truly are? I hope you join me. I think it is going to be an incredible adventure.
I gotta go, I have to design my hairbows and get my friend to make them for me
There was a time in my life I said, when I am 70, I am going to wear a tiara and sparkly purple eyeshadow. I am going to wear a feather boa to Walmart if I deign to do so that day. I am not longer care what people think and I will let my personality really shine through.
Well kids, hold on because it looks like 70 has come 30 plus years early. I have decided I am going to live out that attitude now while I can still dance wildly dressed in glitter and feathers. And I have my hoop and the freeing nature hoopdance to thank for it. So thank you hoop! Thank you hoopdance! I love you!
Somewhere in my head, it became embedded that I had to become more conservative and reserved as I became older. Now that I was a mother, I had to put a public face on and be more dignified.Well I have decided I don't wanna. Besides, I am not a mother, I am one hip, groovy momma and I am going to stay that way. I am going to buy ruffly shorts to hoop in and have a friend make me sparkle filled colorful hairbows to put in my hair. I am even going to wear glitter eyeshadow and I am going to love life while I do it. If anyone has anything nasty to say I can guarantee they aren't loving life as much as I am. Besides, my husband things it is sexy. And that is a good enough reason on its own.
Seriously though, why do we hide behind clothes that aren't really us and practice hobbies that are proper for our stage of life but we don't really have much interest in? You can be a mature, responsible adult and wear fairy wings if you so choose. You really can. Why do we find it necessary to hide away parts of our personality in order to be more acceptable to others? We are fearfully and wonderfully made with all our quirks and eccentricities. God loves us for who we are not for some public persona we might pretend to be.
So my question to you is, are you hiding? Are you covering up some quirks that others might think strange? I guarantee you we all have them. Is this inhibiting you to leading you life fully, outloud, and with abundance? If so, are you willing to have the courage and step out as you truly are? I hope you join me. I think it is going to be an incredible adventure.
I gotta go, I have to design my hairbows and get my friend to make them for me
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