Spring is coming. It feels even closer to me because I just returned from a lovely trip south. There it was full-fledged spring. The dogwoods and bradford pear trees were in bloom, the flowers were in full color, and the grass was green and that amazing smell of new earth was everywhere. I loved it. I didn't want to leave. Here in the Midwest, we are not quite there but we are in the brink.
Both the impending arrival of spring and my return home from an extended trip has spurred on my nesting instincts and desires. I have been cleaning, cooking yummy, healthy whole food meals and treats, and refining our routines and rhythms. It is just that time of year and I love it.
Routine and rhythm go hand in hand for me. Routine keeps my sanity. I cannot abide chaos and that is what living without routine brings for me. Things are forgotten, appointments missed, and opportunities slip by without being taken. It upsets my sense of order. I am not into regimentation but I need routines to propel us through the day. Each morning flow the same, we wake up, snuggle, I do yoga, make the beds and tidy, feed the kids, etc. Throughout the day you can find a similar plan ending with our bedtime routine. My kids know what is going to happen and nothing is missed. It creates peace for us.
Rhythm is different but every bit as important. Rhythm keeps me from going into perfectionist mode and keeps us from dawdling until we are running late. This morning I had a yoga class at a specific time. I also needed to do a load of laundry and do the dishes as part of our routine. But the thing is if I accomplished the whole routine, and I could have, it would have made us harried and rushed. That is a sure recipe for crabby mornings around here. So I let it go. I keep us rather lightly scheduled so we can have time to be impromptu and spontaneous AND fit in things that would otherwise throw us into a tizzy. It works for us.
Lately I am discovering a new purpose for rhythm and it is teaching me wonderful lessons. The rhythm of your season in life is what it is and if you fight it and insist it comform to what you think you want, you will make you and probably your family a crazy, stressed mess. Not very peaceful, huh? My youngest child is a high needs toddler. It is who he is especially at this time. He needs alot of my attention, energy, patience, creativity, well alot of ME. Now I have a habit of trying to picture how things should go. I really don't think this is a productive habit because if you narrow things down to how you think it should go, you miss out on allowing them to develop naturally and organically. And letting that happen is usually the better way of doing it. Go with that flow, you know? Logan is teaching me I cannot have things the way I want them, when I want them. He is teaching me ever more each day to go with the flow.
I will admit it has been frustrating. But I am learning to live my life where I am not where I think I should be. Whether it is yoga, meditation, blogging, trips, whatever it is, I have had to learn to make adjustments and deal with the reality of my situation.
Strangely, I find it usually works out for the better.
Showing posts with label peace. Show all posts
Showing posts with label peace. Show all posts
Monday, March 5, 2012
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Quiet Change
Yesterday on a relatively ordinary day two things happened without fanfare, without noise that could very well my change my life. It is strange to sit here calm and content with the knowledge that something quite large has occurred. Strange but lovely. The two things were we decided to go vegetarian and I went to a meditation seminar.
Let's tackle the easier of the two first. I have been a vegetarian on and off for years. I think the longest was 5ish years. I don't really know. My mind prefers to not think in an overtly linear manner. Hee hee, it seems my mind has a mind of its own. Oh yes, I do think I am funny. Anywho, yep anywho, I just prefer it. It is the right choice for me. I am not going to start on a crusade to let you know why you need to join me. Nope, I am not about that. Each person makes their own choice. But for me I feel better physically, mentally, and spiritually. Maybe someday I will go all wild and crazy and go vegan. Or maybe not, this is the right choice for this moment.
Okay, the second is just really hard for me to put into words. I am fairly sure that whatever I say will be very simplistic, childlike even and that is okay. The truth is I am a total newbie at this stuff and I will treat myself with great deal of love, compassion, and laughter. It is best, don't you think? But I will give it a whirl to even start putting this into words.
Yesterday I went to a meditation seminar. I have really increased and deepened my practice in yoga and this seemed the natural next step. I have caught glimpses of what could be in shiva asana but it was rare. Rare but beautiful and enticing to learn more. So off I bee bopped to learn to meditate.
I could try to lay it out step by step, moment by moment but I don't think I will. I walked out of that studio a changed woman. The depth of my calm was astounding. What I experienced is very hard to put into words that won't deprive the experience of the magnitude that was. I think one thing to say is that for fractions of seonds, very very small fractions, I achieved clarity. About what? No idea. But it was there and it was absolutely breathtaking. Silly to write a blog post about something you don't have words for but there you go. I do love me some silly.
This morning I awoke calm and content. I wish I could report I stayed that way but no I did not. First off, we had become vegetarian!! That meant a complete menu change. Also, for us that still means whole food vegetarian which translates into alot of prep work. I spent my day cooking, cutting, prepping, and cleaning. I found myself easily frustrating and irritated. My emotions threatened to swamp and overwhelm me. Then I realized the problem, I had experienced something huge yesterday. That kind of experience is often followed by the dredging up of big, not always pleasant emotions and can leave your overwrought and wrung out. Must have grace for oneself!
Thankfully I found some time to myself this afternoon. I was able to do a short yoga session and then meditate for the first time on my own. It was hard! It is going to take alot of discpline, loving, kind discipline. My mind cracks me up as it flits and prances here and there. I set a timer so I would not have to look at a clock. I made it, I stayed there until my timer went off. I feel exponentially better.
Who knows, this may be a fad for me. I think it is not but I cannot guarantee it with certainty and I won't try. I do believe I have the discipline and mental brawn to stay the course. It also feels like a very natural progression in my path.
My path has really been opening up and evolving lately. Each day I become more who I am meant to be. I find myself going back to my liberal, hippie-ish roots and I am so very happy here. I feel my life, heart, and spirit blossoming and expanding without the bonds of social conformity. I would not have believed I was conforming but each day I see that I was and I just don't want to anymore.
Peace and Namaste
Let's tackle the easier of the two first. I have been a vegetarian on and off for years. I think the longest was 5ish years. I don't really know. My mind prefers to not think in an overtly linear manner. Hee hee, it seems my mind has a mind of its own. Oh yes, I do think I am funny. Anywho, yep anywho, I just prefer it. It is the right choice for me. I am not going to start on a crusade to let you know why you need to join me. Nope, I am not about that. Each person makes their own choice. But for me I feel better physically, mentally, and spiritually. Maybe someday I will go all wild and crazy and go vegan. Or maybe not, this is the right choice for this moment.
Okay, the second is just really hard for me to put into words. I am fairly sure that whatever I say will be very simplistic, childlike even and that is okay. The truth is I am a total newbie at this stuff and I will treat myself with great deal of love, compassion, and laughter. It is best, don't you think? But I will give it a whirl to even start putting this into words.
Yesterday I went to a meditation seminar. I have really increased and deepened my practice in yoga and this seemed the natural next step. I have caught glimpses of what could be in shiva asana but it was rare. Rare but beautiful and enticing to learn more. So off I bee bopped to learn to meditate.
I could try to lay it out step by step, moment by moment but I don't think I will. I walked out of that studio a changed woman. The depth of my calm was astounding. What I experienced is very hard to put into words that won't deprive the experience of the magnitude that was. I think one thing to say is that for fractions of seonds, very very small fractions, I achieved clarity. About what? No idea. But it was there and it was absolutely breathtaking. Silly to write a blog post about something you don't have words for but there you go. I do love me some silly.
This morning I awoke calm and content. I wish I could report I stayed that way but no I did not. First off, we had become vegetarian!! That meant a complete menu change. Also, for us that still means whole food vegetarian which translates into alot of prep work. I spent my day cooking, cutting, prepping, and cleaning. I found myself easily frustrating and irritated. My emotions threatened to swamp and overwhelm me. Then I realized the problem, I had experienced something huge yesterday. That kind of experience is often followed by the dredging up of big, not always pleasant emotions and can leave your overwrought and wrung out. Must have grace for oneself!
Thankfully I found some time to myself this afternoon. I was able to do a short yoga session and then meditate for the first time on my own. It was hard! It is going to take alot of discpline, loving, kind discipline. My mind cracks me up as it flits and prances here and there. I set a timer so I would not have to look at a clock. I made it, I stayed there until my timer went off. I feel exponentially better.
Who knows, this may be a fad for me. I think it is not but I cannot guarantee it with certainty and I won't try. I do believe I have the discipline and mental brawn to stay the course. It also feels like a very natural progression in my path.
My path has really been opening up and evolving lately. Each day I become more who I am meant to be. I find myself going back to my liberal, hippie-ish roots and I am so very happy here. I feel my life, heart, and spirit blossoming and expanding without the bonds of social conformity. I would not have believed I was conforming but each day I see that I was and I just don't want to anymore.
Peace and Namaste
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
My Life Thus Far....
Doesn't that sound deliciously pretentious? I rather like it. It is somewhat right on point however. Since leaving the world of social media I have felt as if my life has returned. It has been much fun and made me a bit sad I wasted so much of it. But no reason to fret about the past. This is about the present.
Well, first I fell into a bit of a funk. We have been having some rather large life stresses here at the Elvert household. They have resolved themselves rather satisfactorily for the most part but now the anxiety and other negative emotions have sort of crashed down out of their holding pattern. We are systematically digging our way out of that mess and joy is returning in full force.
I am beyond excited because my absolute bestie Jen has become a sahm. This move has resulted in many wonderful changes in her life. She is loving it. But since the world, or at least this blog, revolves around the brightest shining star in the firmament, namely me, the greatest benefit I see is I have been able to spend much more time in her beauteous presence. This is a wondrous and beautiful thing. This woman flat out nurtures and refreshes me. She is the person I never mind how much strength, joy, or positive energy she may need from me because she always returns it tenfold. Glorious I tell you. I am a better person for knowing her. She is the bomb, you know?
Another big thing is I am really into the whole unschooling thing. I LOVE it. I want my children to be life learners. Now whatever objections you may have, I must be honest, I don't really care to hear them. This method works for our family now and we will change direction when it stops working for us. I think that should be the motto for most families, don't you?
One off shoot of this knew found love of an unusual education philosophy is the new proliferation of classic literature in our home. You must understand something, I love classic literature. Shakespeare, Dickens, Milton, Homer, and so many more are old, old friends of mine. But in the years following the birth of my children my brain turned to something more resembling warm mush than a steel trap filled with lightening fast intellect. If you don't know, classics take quite a bit more work than my fave trashy urban fantasy reads.I have to think more. So hard, don't you agree?? But unschooling means I will strive to live out the notion that I will strive to be the person I want my children to become. So be it, enter the challnging literature. I think I am going to learn Italian next year. I will be going the Rosetta Stone path. I have heard good things and there is a dearth of classes in my immediate vicinity. Hopefully in a year my children will occasionally allow me 15 minutes uninterrupted. I doubt it but hope springs eternal.
What else? What else? The weather is amazing for February but I am hungering for the true warmth and earth- scented green of spring. It makes my spirit sing with joy and my soul come alive. I fairly hum with beauty of it and I LOVE it.
Finally, I am very excited because we bought tickets to Quiddam by Cirque du Soleil. I am giddy because they are floor seats. The are stomach turning expensive but we only do this once a year and it is an ultimate pleasure for me and it seems my husband just really likes for me to be happy. I danced for two days after the purchase. Now i just have to wait 4 months (seriously???) for the date to arrive. Patience is good and all, right?
So there you have it. A little rambly, slightly silly, and quite babbly but I guess that describes me right now so it is apt.
Well, first I fell into a bit of a funk. We have been having some rather large life stresses here at the Elvert household. They have resolved themselves rather satisfactorily for the most part but now the anxiety and other negative emotions have sort of crashed down out of their holding pattern. We are systematically digging our way out of that mess and joy is returning in full force.
I am beyond excited because my absolute bestie Jen has become a sahm. This move has resulted in many wonderful changes in her life. She is loving it. But since the world, or at least this blog, revolves around the brightest shining star in the firmament, namely me, the greatest benefit I see is I have been able to spend much more time in her beauteous presence. This is a wondrous and beautiful thing. This woman flat out nurtures and refreshes me. She is the person I never mind how much strength, joy, or positive energy she may need from me because she always returns it tenfold. Glorious I tell you. I am a better person for knowing her. She is the bomb, you know?
Another big thing is I am really into the whole unschooling thing. I LOVE it. I want my children to be life learners. Now whatever objections you may have, I must be honest, I don't really care to hear them. This method works for our family now and we will change direction when it stops working for us. I think that should be the motto for most families, don't you?
One off shoot of this knew found love of an unusual education philosophy is the new proliferation of classic literature in our home. You must understand something, I love classic literature. Shakespeare, Dickens, Milton, Homer, and so many more are old, old friends of mine. But in the years following the birth of my children my brain turned to something more resembling warm mush than a steel trap filled with lightening fast intellect. If you don't know, classics take quite a bit more work than my fave trashy urban fantasy reads.I have to think more. So hard, don't you agree?? But unschooling means I will strive to live out the notion that I will strive to be the person I want my children to become. So be it, enter the challnging literature. I think I am going to learn Italian next year. I will be going the Rosetta Stone path. I have heard good things and there is a dearth of classes in my immediate vicinity. Hopefully in a year my children will occasionally allow me 15 minutes uninterrupted. I doubt it but hope springs eternal.
What else? What else? The weather is amazing for February but I am hungering for the true warmth and earth- scented green of spring. It makes my spirit sing with joy and my soul come alive. I fairly hum with beauty of it and I LOVE it.
Finally, I am very excited because we bought tickets to Quiddam by Cirque du Soleil. I am giddy because they are floor seats. The are stomach turning expensive but we only do this once a year and it is an ultimate pleasure for me and it seems my husband just really likes for me to be happy. I danced for two days after the purchase. Now i just have to wait 4 months (seriously???) for the date to arrive. Patience is good and all, right?
So there you have it. A little rambly, slightly silly, and quite babbly but I guess that describes me right now so it is apt.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Early Days
I am amazed how much my brain was fogged and distracted. My head is clearing rapidly and it is amazing. The closest thing I can compare it too is being drugged. My senses and thought processes had really become that dulled and fuzzy. Amazing. Just amazing.
So what I am doing with my new found clarity? Lots of things, actually.
The kids and I have been crafting up a storm. We made lots of decorations for Valentine's Day which they are fascinated with for some reason. We have hung hearts all over the house with heart garland. Logan is extremely proud of his creations. I love that. I also started to teach them very beginning needlepoint. I bought burlap, yarn, plastic needles, and embroidery hoops. It worked out extremely well. Hannah really focused on her project for a long time. I am going to pull out some iron ons this afternoon and prep an embroidery project for myself. I am not wanted to knit right now but embroidering some tea towels is enticing. I want to make and embroidery some new pillows for the living room but I need to practice.
Cooking has been going strong. Aside from the daily whole food prep and cooking, I have tried some new things. My first batch of homemade Greek yogurt is going strong. Sadly, I believe my first attempt at whole wheat English muffins is going to be a bust. Oh well, it is the first time I have ever worked with yeast so it is a learning experience.
I have been reading and writing a great deal more. I am filling my journal with many of the thoughts and speculations bursting forth. I love to see the pages fill up with not-so-neat writing. The not-so-neat part indicates I am passionate and excited, too het up to pay too much attention to penmanship. As it should be. I am reading two wonderful books, "A Simple Path" by Mother Thereasa and "Trick of Light" by Louise Penny. Both are excellent so far.
Other than that I am just spending time with the kids. We laugh alot, dance, sing, and cuddle. And we talk, and talk, and talk. I have two children that may just talk more than me. You can all feel very sad for John because I am not sure he will ever get another word in a conversation in this house. Poor guy.
I have been able to really think about the schooling choices we are making for a children. Unschooling is working extremely well for us right now and I believe it will for some time to come. I am so grateful I am in the right place to really think about all of this. It is truly a gift.
Overall, I am having a great time and enjoying myself. I wish this for every, single, one of you.
So what I am doing with my new found clarity? Lots of things, actually.
The kids and I have been crafting up a storm. We made lots of decorations for Valentine's Day which they are fascinated with for some reason. We have hung hearts all over the house with heart garland. Logan is extremely proud of his creations. I love that. I also started to teach them very beginning needlepoint. I bought burlap, yarn, plastic needles, and embroidery hoops. It worked out extremely well. Hannah really focused on her project for a long time. I am going to pull out some iron ons this afternoon and prep an embroidery project for myself. I am not wanted to knit right now but embroidering some tea towels is enticing. I want to make and embroidery some new pillows for the living room but I need to practice.
Cooking has been going strong. Aside from the daily whole food prep and cooking, I have tried some new things. My first batch of homemade Greek yogurt is going strong. Sadly, I believe my first attempt at whole wheat English muffins is going to be a bust. Oh well, it is the first time I have ever worked with yeast so it is a learning experience.
I have been reading and writing a great deal more. I am filling my journal with many of the thoughts and speculations bursting forth. I love to see the pages fill up with not-so-neat writing. The not-so-neat part indicates I am passionate and excited, too het up to pay too much attention to penmanship. As it should be. I am reading two wonderful books, "A Simple Path" by Mother Thereasa and "Trick of Light" by Louise Penny. Both are excellent so far.
Other than that I am just spending time with the kids. We laugh alot, dance, sing, and cuddle. And we talk, and talk, and talk. I have two children that may just talk more than me. You can all feel very sad for John because I am not sure he will ever get another word in a conversation in this house. Poor guy.
I have been able to really think about the schooling choices we are making for a children. Unschooling is working extremely well for us right now and I believe it will for some time to come. I am so grateful I am in the right place to really think about all of this. It is truly a gift.
Overall, I am having a great time and enjoying myself. I wish this for every, single, one of you.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)